Posted in Blog

The One-Up Game

We all know them, the people that insist on being “more than” you. I find it extremely annoying when you’re sitting there having a discussion with friends and one of those in the group has to say at every turn how they can do something better, they went through something worse or better, their pain is worse than your’s, the list goes on and on.  What’s annoying to me is that the majority of the people who play the “one-up” game are women and they insist on attempting to play it with me.  I find it tedious, immature and very condescending on other’s parts.

Recently I have been subjected to the one-up game in regards to pain.  This is the one that confuses me the most.  Pain isn’t fun.  I don’t want to be in more pain than anyone and I sure don’t want to wish someone to be in more pain than me.  It’s like people forget that we are all individuals and we are all different, we all handle pain in different ways.  I have degenerative disc disease, spondylitis, suspected fibromyalgia, as well as colitis.  I experience pain on multiple levels pretty much all the time and because of having colitis I am unable to take pain medications like others can.  I have gone through all of the viable options with pain management and nothing worked.  I have learned how to deal with pain without the aid of pharmaceuticals not by choice but because of necessity.  Just because I go out to the stores, the mall, road trips with my husband does not mean that I’m not in pain.  I adjust to my pain.  I know how far I can push myself and I know what I need to do if I push myself further.  This is not done to prove something to others, this is done to prove something to myself.  I’m not trying to one-up anyone else in pain.  I’m not trying to say I’m better than someone else because I handle my pain in a way that they can’t.  This is what works for me and that’s all that matters.

The one-up game is infuriating and self-defeating.  I won’t play it.  I don’t understand why others insist on attempting to drag me into it.  All that it says to me is that  that person is insecure with themselves and is threatened by someone else and has to put themselves above their imagined adversary just to make themselves feel better about themselves.  I find that to be embarrassing on their part and I wish to have no part of that.  8300b14ae8326f5b6a2db717d49ca91a.jpg

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Leaving the real world for one of my own making.

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