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Starting Anew


As I write this, I am slowly packing my apartment.  We have about a month and a half left here but I had decided to get a head start on the packing of non-essential items since I have degenerative disk disease and spondylitis.  I am looking forward to getting out of this apartment and the apartment complex.  While the upstairs neighbors finally moved out, the complex seems to be getting worse.  We have a house waiting for us to move into about an hour’s drive from where we are now and I am looking forward to the move.

So since I am trying this again and starting anew, let’s start with the process of moving…

This is always a great time to get rid of needless clutter in our lives.  I mean, seriously, who really wants to move to a whole new home with a bunch of stuff that’s sat around in the back of the closet and you’ve forgotten about?  I find that we end up donating a lot of things to charities whenever we move.  In fact, when we moved from Arizona to Colorado, I had a bunch of food that wasn’t going to be able to make the trip with us, so I brought to the lady that lived in the townhouse across from us since she had two or three daughters and summer break had just started.  She was very thankful for that.  She even got a plant out of us moving because I realized my plant was not going to survive the trip.

I’m looking at this move as another step in bettering myself.  We will have enough space with this house that I will be able to do a lot of the projects that I’ve wanted to do but just couldn’t do due to that particular restriction.  Some of these projects are just simple little things, like I want a cooking blog for when I make various things (like recently, my apple brownies went over like a hit at a company meeting my husband brought them to….I have a feeling they’re going to be expecting some of those again today when he goes for this week’s.) And since I love to take photos, I wanted to work on a site to showcase some of my pictures that I think are just really good shots.  Plus, I’m going to finally be able to have a home office, a room I can actually go into and shut the door and ignore the world while working on my research or my writing or any of those above projects.

***some minutes later***

I’m also looking forward to this move because it gets us out of this complex, The Wesley Apartments in Denver.  We have complained about not being guaranteed hot water in our unit since we moved in and they still have not addressed it in the near year that we have lived here.  But they’ve repainted the front doors, they’ve installed new windows and some units have new blinds, they recently redid the swimming pool, they’ve done landscaping work as well.  But we still have to play with the water while taking a shower, constantly readjusting to avoid those moments when your lukewarm shower goes to scalding hot then to ice cold.  We also went the entire winter without a working heater and they did not provide us with any other source of heat (though we did mention we do have some space heaters).

I could go on and on about this place, but that’s for another blog entry.

I think that’s all I’ve got for now.  Think I wanna work on one of my writing projects.

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Trying Again

I have the worst time with keeping to a routine if I miss a day.

I have felt massively guilty about creating this blog with the intention of blogging every day and then because I got ticked off at current events and didn’t trust myself to blog “objectively”, I put it off.  And it’s just sat here ever since….  Well, I’m gonna try again.




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Dear Upstairs Neighbors

To my upstairs neighbors,

You moved in just over a month after we did.  Since then we have been subjected to your stomping around your apartment from one end to the other from early morning until past midnight.  We have been subjected to listening to your arguments and your most violent fights that shake the items on my walls and my shelving and even set my ceiling fans to shaking to where I worry that they might come loose from their supports and come crashing down either on my bed or in the other room where my dogs run and play and eat.  We have been subjected to your rudeness of blaring your hip hop music past 1:30 in the morning while you drunkenly carry on loudly both in your apartment and outside on the stairs that are right outside my living room window.  Your arguments and fights have woken us up, have set my dogs into barking fits that I can’t get them to settle down.  I have had to turn up my own tv or music to drown out your fights, your stomping, your slamming things around in your apartment.  We have asked you to please keep it down because we sleep in the afternoon since my husband is an overnight worker.  We have complained to the management and we have made numerous calls to the Denver Police Department.

Since you have moved in I have experienced high levels of anxiety due to your fights as I am a survivor of domestic violence and have had to deal with flashbacks to the assault that disabled me.  I have pleaded with the Denver Police Department dispatch that something needs to be done about this couple.  We have complained numerous times to management about this and yet they refuse to address the situation but slipped in saying that your rent is paid for by a case manager which tells me that management should be talking to case management about how they are causing a problem to other tenets, but seeing how management can’t fix anything that’s wrong with these apartments I don’t see that happening anyhow.

So, upstairs neighbors, when you see me as you’re walking by my apartment and the look on my face shows my disgust with you, that is why.  I am disgusted that you two have absolutely no respect or consideration for your neighbors.  I am disgusted that despite numerous calls to Denver Police Department on a domestic violence  that ends with them leaving only to have you two start up again within the next couple hours that Denver PD doesn’t do something else about the situation?  I am disgusted with the management of The Wesley apartments who have failed to address this situation causing mental and emotional distress upon at least one resident.



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Catching Up

It’s been a bit of a hectic couple of weeks.  I had to take some time away from things just to make sure my head was in the right spot.

There’s so much going on that I don’t even know which direction I want to go.  I watch the news anxiously, afraid that tensions in the United States are reaching a boiling point.  I have tried to keep my mind off of the things on the news but I find that I cannot take my attention away from it.  I have started to avoid social media, friends are turning against friends, family against family.  The mudslinging is nonstop and petty.  Very few people can carry on a civil discussion about the new administration without it becoming a fight it seems, at least that’s what I’ve seen as I scroll through Facebook. I don’t mind the various opposing points of view, I just hate seeing the viciousness and lack of humanity that people seem to sink into when discussing politics these days.

But on the lighter side of life, Super Bowl Sunday is this weekend and I’m having my best friend and his girlfriend over.  I’m going to be making an elk roast in the slow-cooker.  I’ve never prepared game before so I’m very nervous.

I intended to stand on my soapbox a bit tonight but I guess I lost my fire quicker than I intended.  Perhaps in the morning I will have a renewed fire to write about the feelings that have been stirred within me since Inauguration Day.


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This is my exact post from my Facebook account. 
“Yesterday was… Wow….Just wow…. It’s all fine and dandy for you all to get upset when you see victims of domestic violence or lament the plight of the homeless but lemme ask you, if you saw a woman wandering in the snow with nowhere to go and she says she was assaulted and doesn’t know what to do what would you do? Let me tell you what…. This woman had sat in Denny’s for five fucking hours and told the wait staff what had happened. Their response? Free coffee and a warm place to sit while she figures out what to do and watch as she walks out into the snow, sitting on a curb crying in the freezing falling snow. Yeah, fuck them too. Don’t fucking act like you’re concerned and care about her but don’t lift a finger to get her fucking help! Fuck you, Denny’s wait staff! You care oh so much but you don’t want to get involved. Goddamn fucking hypocrites! Now that I’ve dealt with my own reliving of when I was kicked out into the snow with nowhere to go, reliving the assault I went through, now I’m releasing my anger at the lack of action from the oh so concerned waitresses at Denny’s who could have done one simple thing, picked up the phone and called the police saying they had a lady in the restaurant who said she had been assaulted. But instead they gave her free coffee and then watched as she walked back out into the elements. Fuck, this just pisses me off more than anyone realizes. 
And by the way, before someone asks me what did I do, that woman was brought to the hospital by myself and my husband and I even left my phone number and told the hospital I want to continue helping her. 
No I am not tooting my own horn. I am venting my anger at the inactions of people who seemed to be oh so concerned but they showed they weren’t that concerned because they didn’t want to get involved. Yeah, and let this agnostic atheist remind all of those who do nothing to help that there’s a parable in the Christian Bible about this…It’s called the Good Samaritan. Why don’t some of you Bible thumpers who talk talk talk but don’t do anything reread that parable and ask yourself, are you the priest, the Levite or the Samaritan? 
*Kicks soapbox across the room*”

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Being There

I had big plans for Saturday. After spending Friday in bed and ignoring the world, I had planned on doing laundry, rearranging the bedroom and get some cleaning done. But I guess other things were meant to be. My husband is the top supervisor of his company’s Denver location and runs things here. They deliver Amazon to post offices among some other things, but a lot of what it is is connected to being a vendor that deals with them. This morning one of the drivers hit an elk as he drove up to Northern Colorado and his truck was disabled due to the accident. Thus began our unexpected road trip. 

It started decent enough. Traffic was flowing just fine at 8ish in the morning. I played dj (as my husband says), plugging my phone into the stereo and playing my playlist, was taking pictures along the way, trying to keep the husband in a good mood despite not having any luck on getting another truck out to the accident to finish the route, not even anyone from any of the other vendors helped out. Then we hit traffic and ended up dealing with various traffic delays. 

Once we got through all of that we finally made our way to the driver. Truck was fine except for the busted transmission line, driver was fine, the elk had been put down by highway patrol and I was told a family in need took the elk home. It was beautiful up there about an hour out of Steamboat Springs, the air so crisp and cool, the sky blue and with clouds hanging in the sky.  I didn’t mind standing outside while the guys transferred the load from the damaged truck to the rented U-Haul as I looked out across the landscape. 

It was a long day; didn’t get anything done I had planned on except for moving the bed in our bedroom. But I got a lot of beautiful pictures, brainstormed some ideas with him for my Skyrim fanfic I write, and I got to go to a part of Colorado I had yet to see. While we couldn’t get some help with the delivery and the guys ended up having to spend more money on just getting the load to where it went, we had a good day. A family in need got some free meat, the tow truck driver was paid by the hour by insurance company so he wasn’t complaining on the guys having to unload it before it got towed, dinner was on the company’s dime, and I got to spend some quality time with my very busy husband.

Being there sometimes is as easy as just going along for the ride. Being there is sometimes just as simple as going the extra mile for an employee when they need the help. Being there is easiest way to show you care. 

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It Affects Everyone

My upstairs neighbors fight.  A lot.  I’ve called the police multiple times as it’s been very evident that it was a physical domestic.  One time one of them had blood gushing from her head.  Both my husband and I have called and have had to wait for hours for Denver Police to get here.  During this time we are subjected to hearing everything from the one’s verbal abuse to one begging for the fighting to stop, we have been subjected to having things on our walls rattle from things being thrown against the wall upstairs, we have dealt with the ceiling fan above our bed shake from things crashing on the floor up there.  We’ve listened to it for hours on end while waiting for the police to show up.  We have never seen the police take either one of the neighbors away for a domestic.  It doesn’t matter that they fight so loudly it keeps me up at night and has woken me up from a dead sleep in the middle of the night.  The police respond, they take their notes, tell them to keep it down and leave only to have the fight erupt again a few hours later and we start the cycle all over again.  From the time they wake in the morning to the time they go to bed at night or early morning they stomp throughout their apartment which sets me on edge.  You can hear them slamming doors or objects down on counters.  I have left my apartment at times when I should stay home in bed just to avoid having to hear them fight.  I have called Denver Police so many times that I fear they look at the incoming number and roll their eyes and I fear that I might be bordering on harassing my neighbors with each call I make reporting their domestic and/or noise complaint even though management has told us to call the police each time there’s an incident.  Management does nothing about the noise complaints on these residents, the police don’t do anything about the domestic violence happening in that home (and might I point out that their physical fights have spilled out into the courtyard in front of children).  I have sat in my room for hours waiting for the police to show up, rocking back and forth fighting the flashbacks from when I was assaulted by my ex.  I’ve called the police and begged them as a survivor of domestic violence to do something because this is affecting my mental health and my physical health.  I can’t sleep, I’m triggered in such a way that there has been times we have had to decide if I needed to get medical attention for myself.  What good is calling Denver Police when nothing is ever done?  What good is it to complain to management about the noise when they don’t do anything about anything in this complex at all?  (that’s an entirely different post about the shit in this complex that we put up with).

Domestic violence affects everyone.  Not just the people involved in the relationship, but the neighbors as well.  We have to listen to it.  We are awoken by the screaming, the yelling, the slamming, the stomping, the pleading.  It causes survivors to relive their own hellish nightmare feeling every punch, feeling every slap, feeling every kick.  The nightmare never ends.